The "family meeting" & a visit from the girls*

* entries taken from my daily journal

Wednesday August 18, 2010 9:00pm

Today turned out to be better than I expected but I still feel wiped out. This morning was the "family meeting" the doctors called for. They did say that at this point they are still hopeful. They want to wait a few days and then do another CT scan to see how effective the last chemo cycle was. They basically wanted to know what and how Rory felt about everything, like if he wanted to continue on with the chemo or spend his time at home. I said that if the chemo is working then yes he was going to continue but if it is not then I was going to take him home. I guess we will know in a few days if the chemo is working or not.

Getting some exercise

Mean while he did get to leave the ICU today. We are back on the 4th floor and Rory seems pretty happy about it. He is more at peace anyway. He also got the tube pulled out of his nose (that was draining his stomach) so thats really good. He is still on bowel rest and they are rationing his ice chips so that has been hard because he gets dry mouth a lot but they don't want him to over do it because his belly is so sensitive. His skin is really yellow looking but the doctors say it is because his gal bladder has stones and hasn't been working much due to the bowel rest. He is also very swollen from all the fluids [IV's], its almost nice to see him thicker but its false weight. He is also extremely weak. I help him use the bedside commode and I actually worry if I could keep him from falling by myself. He does good though and we work well together.

I am excited to go to bed before 10 tonight because I desperately need the sleep.

Saturday August 21, 2010 9:45 pm

This morning started out rough. Rory had a long night and early this morning (about 3am) I layed in his bed with him (to help calm him) and through his tears he said "I dont' deserve you" and "thank you for everything". I fell asleep cuddling with him and it was great. But when the sun came up I thought it was going to be a day from hell. He got a bad nose bleed, felt like he couldn't breath and was having major stomach pain.

I got a picture of the girls ready for there 1st soccer game and I felt a little jealousy about not getting to be there but when Danika text me saying Ty;s bawling about playing. I called hoping to encourage her but I ended up bawling myself about not getting to be there for her. I hate missing my day to day life with my family all together.

The day did improve a little after Rock , Meagan, J.D., Kelly & Gerard came to visit with him. He was pretty tired but talking normal and being friendly in the morning but because he was still in pain they upped his pain meds while we were all at lunch. When we got back he was totally different. He was mean and grouchy and border line "loopy". I let him sleep for a little while but then Kelly woke him up and helped me get him ready for the girls visit.

Once he saw the girls you could just tell he was better [because] of it. It was a tear feeled moment for everyone. Ty was the happiest little girl ever-she loves her Daddy so much and you can see it every time she looks at him. Race was excited to show us the front tooth she pulled out on the way here from Eagar. Kyrri was just happy to have everyone together. She grows up more and more every time I see her.

Excited to see there Daddy

The Daddys girl

Our baby Kyrri

Rory enjoyed them and it made a huge improvement in his state of mind. He looked so happy I almost cryed.

Wendy stayed with him tonight so I took the girls to a splash pad and let them play and then we ate. Wendy also had a gift certificate to a hotel so Dani, the girls and I are staying in it tonight so I am glad to have a bed again as well as a nice shower and a laundry room.

Fun at the splash pad

What a day full of ups and downs. All is well that ends well and if I could just find his [Rory's] dang cell phone I would be able to rest better tonight but there are a lot more important things to be grateful for.